How To Get Along With Others

Explore the Bible Lesson #04 for January 2010

(January 24th)

SCRIPTURE TEXTS:

          Background Texts: Mark 8:34-10:33

          Focal Texts: Mark 9:33-43; 47-50

 

INTRODUCTION:

          Getting along with other people is a skill that all of us need to have, and if we don't, we need to cultivate this skill. This is doubly important in the church. How we deal with others is a reflection of our relationship with Christ and an integral part of out testimony. Our lesson today focuses on this vital skill so that we may be better prepared to represent our Savior as we go through our life’s journey.

          Have you ever experienced an incident when people whom you worked with, or someone in your social circle, treated you rudely? The story is told of a woman in an office who had such an encounter on her job.

          Romana had been promoted to an executive assistant position in her company’s human relations department. While Romona usually got along well with her co-workers, one day one of the men in the department snapped at her for no apparent reason. Romana was stung by these remarks. Later, one of the other workers whispered to her “Don't pay him any attention; he does play well with other people”.

          You can guess that the person who acted badly would become unpopular and also that his job would be jeopardized. That is a shame for there was no apparent basis in his job performance in general, but it hurt his reputation and probably would cost him in the long run in terms of raises or promotions.

          While such a situation is bad in the business world, it is much more critical in the spiritual realm. For instance- if this person was a believer, working with unbelievers, what do you think this would do to his chance of winning one of them to Christ? That is not likely is it?

          Also in the church congregation there are prices to be paid when we don't know how to get along with others, especially with those who disagree with us on some minor point. Working together in committees and on church projects requires the ability to work well with others so that Christ may be glorified and so that the work becomes harmonious.

          The main reason for splits and disagreement within church bodies usually comes down to personal conflicts and misunderstandings. Often people misunderstand each other because of past frictions. Old hurts color people’s perceptions, and while those old slights may not be germane to the issue at hand, they can wreck the best plans when there is friction on a personal level. This is the very reason Christ counseled that when we bring our offering, and then we remember that someone has something against us, then we are first to go and reconcile with them and then come an give our offering. God wishes us to be in harmony with our fellow men. Paul also counseled that we should “If it is possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceable with all men”. (Romans 12:18 KJV)

          So then we see that learning how to get along with others is very important to our Christian walk and testimony and to the progress of God’s Kingdom on earth.

          Now, let us look into our scripture texts and see if we can discover some principles that will help is us this process of working well with others.

 

I.) SHOW OTHERS THAT YOU CARE: Mark 9:33-37

          “Mark 9:33 And he came to Capernaum: and being in the house he asked them, ‘What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way?’ But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who [should be] the greatest.

          35 And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, ‘If any man desire to be first, [the same] shall be last of all, and servant of all.’

                36 And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them,

          37 ‘Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receives me: and whosoever shall receive me, receives not me, but him that sent me.’ ”[1][1]

          The scene here is that Jesus had just begun to explain to His disciple that He would be betrayed, crucified and rise again. They did not understand this at all. Their minds still had the outlook that He was going to usher in an earthly kingdom. They did not understand that He had to die first for their sins.

           In the early part of chapter 9 we read how He was transfigured before them on the mountain. Even seeing this miraculous event did not make them realize the fullness of His mission. Do we often allow earthbound thinking to cloud out perception of spiritual truths? I know that this has often happened to me. It is hard to “think outside the box’ as one of the modern day clichés puts it.

          As they were walking along the disciple had been arguing with each other. They likely were doing it in a whispered dialogue because they sensed that Jesus would not approve of this proud striving. They had some sensibility that this was not an approved way to behave, but pride and ambition often overshadows what we know to be right. They had been on the mountain of transfiguration and no doubt this experience had put the coming kingdom on their minds. They each wanted a prominent place in His kingdom.

          Do we sometimes act the same by letting pride inspire our actions in our church work? It is the natural human impulse to want recognition, but such motives should be kept in tight reign, for they do not glorify God. When the religious leaders of that day put on shows of piety, such as their loud prayers in public, Jesus condemned them and remarked that they already had their reward. In other words: this public recognition was all the reward they would get, for God did not regard their public piety as righteous.

          In verse 35, Jesus points out that in His kingdom those who humbly serve are those who will be regarded as being first in His Kingdom. There have been many “religious figures” in recent years that seemed to have served for fame and fortune. Doubtless their reward (if any) has already been received.

          Jesus then went on to demonstrate what He had just told them by using a little child as an illustration of this principle of humility. Just as a little child acts without guile, so too must those who serve the Master. We are not to serve in order to be recognized, nor or we to be in a contest with each other to see who can get the most recognition.

          I confess that sometimes this is a hard attitude, for all of us naturally want to be thought well of. But the thing is that we must remember that is our Master who first must think well of us, what others think after that is secondary. However in one way we do need for others to think well of us, because that is part and parcel of getting along and working together, but pride and ambition should be absent in all our endeavors for Christ. They should think well of  us because they see that we act out of love and not out of a desire for recognitions.

          So then, humility is a vital part of getting along with others. Otherwise we will aggravate the natural human tendency for competition. Just as when  people are jostling one another in a crowd for space, this only causes others to act the same way. Prideful acting inspires the same bad behavior in those around us.

 

II.) SEE OTHERS AS CO-WORKERS: Mark 9:38-41

          “38 And John answered him, saying, ‘Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followed not us: and we forbad him, because he followed not us.’

                39 But Jesus said, ‘Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me.

                40 ‘For he that is not against us is on our part.

                41 ‘For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.’”

          Notice that John seems to be trying to change the subject here. Jesus had just gently rebuked their ambitious striving for prominence with His illustration of the little child. John changes the subject by talking about others who were not following along with the group with Jesus. Jesus again gently rebukes their attitude.

          This time it was their ideas that their group was the elite favored ones. This again is pride of place within the group. Do we condemn other churches because they are not in our group? Or, do we look down on them because their method of worship is different from ours? I am not talking about deep doctrinal divisions here, but superficial differences. We should be careful that pride in our denomination alienates us from working together with others to advance the kingdom. There are many good believers in other denominations and many are doing good work for the kingdom of God.

          This sort of narrow minded outlook can carry over to fellow workers with our church and also within our Association. There are several churches whose doctrinal position is like ours but they do not have “Baptist” in their name but they belong to our Association. This is likely because of the past controversies within our denomination and they see the name “Baptist” as being a hindrance to reaching people in the community. That is one of the sad results of the controversy we have had in recent years within our denomination. I still am proud of the label “Baptist’ for I know the great heritage of those who have worn the name in the past. But I also see their point.

          Let us so live in harmony with other groups, and groups within our own Association, in our denomination, and in our church, for we all are striving to serve the same Master. The Kingdom of Christ is larger than any one group of people or any one church. We have enough enemies who are aligned with Satan: we don't need any among fellow believers.

 

III.) SACRIFICE FOR OTHERS’ SAKE: Mark 9:42-43, 47-48

          “42 ‘And whosoever shall offend one of [these] little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.

          43 ‘And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:’

.........................

          47 ‘And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:

          48 ‘Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.’ ”

          Part of being a disciple is being a servant, not only of Christ but of others as well. Jesus continues in this passage using a little child as an example. But when He talks about offending “...one of [these] little ones that believe in me...” He means other believers. This should give us pause when we are dealing with other believers, especially those who are new in the faith. Immature believe can be greatly harmed by us if we do not take into consideration that they are children in the Christian faith. Oftentimes new believers still have some of their old ways prominent in their lives. We need to be understanding that they are not going to be full grown Christians overnight. The Christian life is a much like our physical growing up process. It takes time, nutrition, and knowledge. And it also takes patience with their maturation process. We understand that little children need to grow and mature, but we don't always see this in the case of other believers. And, unfortunately some believers have remained “children’ in the faith, even after many years as Christians. In other words, tolerance of personal quirks are a necessary skill in dealing with others in the faith.

          In the latter two verses Jesus zeroes in on things that prevent people from coming into the kingdom. If a person has something in their life that is keeping them from coming to Christ, it needs to cut it out of their lives. For one’s eternal destiny is so much more important than anything in this life. Many think that they can go on with some sinful lifestyle and then come to Christ at a “more convenient time”. (See Acts 24:25) That more convenient time probably will never come, for their hearts will become hardened to the gospel, and God’s Spirit is not guaranteed to continue to deal with them.

          It is “...today if you hear His voice, harden not your hearts...” (Hebrews 3:15) that the Bible speaks of opportunity. Opportunity is when He is dealing with us, not on our timetable, but on His. Jesus did say that no one can come to Him unless the Spirit of God draws Him. (John 6:44) When He convicts a person it is only then that they can be saved, for they cannot come of their own volition. They do not have the power, for they are only empowered to make this choice when the Spirit is drawing them. Putting Him off is likely going to be eternally fatal!

 

IV.) SEASON OTHERS LIVES: Mark 9:49-50

          “49 ‘For everyone shall be salted with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt. 50 ‘Salt [is] good: but if the salt has lost his saltiness, wherewith will ye season it? ‘Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.’”

          In these verses Jesus is continuing to talk about our relationships with others. Specifically our conversation with others, which includes our behavior as well as the words we choose to use.

          The use of salt here in Jesus’ illustration was probably better understood by the disciples then than  it is by people today. That is because of their familiarity with the practices of sacrifice at the Temple and the historic uses of salt in sacrifice as well as in covenant relationships. In ancient times, salt was valuable commodity. It was rare in some places and therefore was valuable to those who had no ready access to it. Because it was a valuable commodity it was often used as a gift when two parties were making a covenant. A gift of salt was viewed as a valuable gift to those whose access to salt was limited.

          In the sacrificial laws instituted for sacrifices in the law of Moses, salt was to be sprinkled on all the burnt offerings as a sign that this was a covenant between the one offering the sacrifice and God.

           Jesus says something in verse 49 that at first seems strange to our ears today. “‘For everyone shall be salted with fire...”! What does his mean? I think what He is saying is that there are coming into all our lives some times of sacrifice, when we will feel as if we are being offered up as a sacrifice. There is a double meaning in this statement. Notice He says that “everyone’ shall experience the fire. Those who reject Him will experience the fires of hell, but His followers will also experience the fire of sacrifice. We believers will all have experiences when sacrifice is required of us. This also is a sign that there is a covenant relationship between us and our Lord, just as the salt in the Old Testament sacrifices indicated a covenant relationship with God, so too do our sacrifices, our fiery trials, confirm that we are covenanted with Him!

          Finally, there is another aspect of “salt” in the Christian experience. Salt is a preservative. It keeps things from spoiling. In previous generations our grandparents knew this. Before deep freezes and other means of preserving food, salting was done as a means to preserve them from spoilage. This aspect of salt pictures that the things we endure for Christ sake have a preservative function in our lives. We are protected from much harm when we are going through the fire of persecution, or other conditions that come upon us as a result of our testimony for Him. There is a verse in scripture that says:

           “1st Peter 4:1Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin...”

          If we are suffering for Him, we are not sinning. This is the preservation aspect of sacrifice. It is likely that Peter was referring to suffering to the death, for that is what he was saying about the suffering of Christ.

          But then Jesus asks the question “...but if the salt has lost his saltiness, wherewith will ye season it?” This refers to those who do not persevere when trials come. Their testimony becomes useless if they do not continue in faith and perseverance in their service for him. They are no long a salt in the situation, but are like the salt which has lost it ability to season. It is no better than dirt. We are to be salt in the world, adding a preserving element to the evil society in which we live. Do you remember the pleas of Abraham when God told him that He was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah? Abraham pleaded that there might be a certain number of righteous there and asked God not to destroy them with the wicked. He wanted God to hold off on His judgment of these cities for the sake of the righteous. God was willing if there were enough righteous there, but sadly there was only Lot and his wife and their two daughters. These were not enough to be the salt that preserved these towns from destruction. Are we salt enough in our society here in America today? Are we truly acting as salt in our community, or in our families? These are hard questions indeed.

          Jesus concludes this advice in the last sentence of verse 50: “‘Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.’” He is advising us to be people who preserve the harmony within our churches and also with all those around us. Getting along with people who act contrary is part of that command. This is especially true when sacrifice on our part is required in order to live in peace with others. Making peace with those who seem to be un-peaceful helps our testimony and it could lead to their redemption. Within the body of believers it can make the work of the Kingdom smoother and more effective.

 

CONCLUSION:

          As much as we all like to be recognized, and we all would like to be thought of as great people, that is of little importance in God’s eternal plans. How we relate to others in advancing the work of the Kingdom is of far greater importance. I think there are going to be some great surprises when we stand before the throne of God at the Judgment Seat of Christ, where Christians will be judged.  (See 1st Corinthians 3:11-15) Many whom we think are the greatest will be further back in the ranks and some whom we never thought were outstanding will be in the first ranks, because God looks on the heart, and not the outward appearances.

          If there is one particular characteristic that is essential with our dealing with others, especially between fellow believers, it is humility. We should be careful to not think more highly of ourselves than we should. If we are honest with ourselves, we know how weak and how far short we fall of the perfection that God wishes us to attain to. That should keep us humble. However, sometimes we come to believe our own propaganda! We can pretend we are better than we are, but we are just fooling ourselves, for God sees our every though and desire. He knows when our service is done for the wrong motives, even when others do not.

          Let us then be forgiving of others flaws and seek to be at peace with all whom we deal with, both within the church, and without.

          Let our motivation be love for Christ and love for others without expectation of personal gain. If we do this then we are truly imitating our Lord.

 

Prayerfully submitted:

Joe Forbus

 01 /18/ 2010

 


[1][1] All scripture texts in this lesson are taken from the Authorized Version (King James) using the Interlinear Scripture Analyzer program. Unless otherwise noted. Used by License.